They call me “Father”, for I am king of my own little world.
Why rule over these sheep? Isn’t it obvious? Better to be rich than poor, better to be adored then despised. I’ve robbed these fools blind, yet they still worship me.
And this job comes with so many perks.
I convinced a gullible girl to marry me, telling her: “An angel of the Lord proclaimed in a vision, that if you don’t become my wife, then Heaven will send a curse to kill you and your entire family!” and the weeping sixteen-year-old gave in, all because I was convincing enough.
That’s power I can never give up.
How many wives do I have? Too many to count! Half of them were already married when I snatched them up, and anyway having my own personal harem gives me a thrill.
Sure, I indulge. Popping pinks and greys before washing it all down with rum and then selecting which wives will join me in the hot tub is a typical night. By day I’ll preach sermons of chastity, abstinence, and selflessness as I watch the guileless children, take my words to heart.
My short comings? Oh, I’m a hoarder, forever collecting and at pains to part with anything. Perhaps you’ve known people who hold onto books they’ve not touched in decades and yet will go nuts if you ever so much ask if you can borrow one.
That’s true with me except my collection is people. Their bleating praise is delightful; their blind devotion is unbeatable.
Why build a fortress in the middle of the jungle? Simple, it’s harder to access, harder for friends and relatives to sneak in and steal their loved ones away from me.
Escape? They have no jobs, no money. Getting back home from here is next to impossible. So, what else in this stinking pit can they do but praise me?
Sometimes they try to run but they’re always caught and that’s when the real fun begins.
I have personally waterboarded boys no younger than ten, I’ve whipped women in their eighties, and I’ve watched, and enacted punishments usually given out in prison. You know about dropping the soap, don’t you?
Jesus, do I ever love being king of my own little world.
