Based on the myth that Scotsmen hunt haggis
Somewhere in the Highlands of Scotland:
“Order! Order! I’ve called this all clans meeting to discuss what we can do bout stopping our friends and families being kidnapped and eaten” the Chief Clansman stated.
“Hear, hear” shouted Wee Willie.
“As e all know, it’s around this time every year that we get hunted doon,” the chief continued.
“Sommut must be done, I’ll nay lose another bairn,” interjected Aggi.
“We moust act now, if we’re to save our bairns” the Chief stated as he stamped his wee foot on the floor.
“I blame that Robbie Burns. What have we done to him, why are we being sacrificed like poor lambs to the slaughter?” Jock asked.
“Hear, hear” shouted Wee Willie.
“Aye, I’ll agree with e there Jock, I’ve never heed of him.”
“Just for once, all our clans need to work together, otherwise we’ll all be stuffed. We need to be cunning, we need to be brave, and most of all we need to be committed. Now here’s my plan.” The chief Haggis told them.
The hunter was up early next morning, looking for haggis spoor. He was so engrossed in his search that he almost missed the wee haggis jumping up and down a few yards in front of him. He raised his net high and brought it crashing to the ground. But Alexander, the fastest haggis in the north easily escaped and led him on a merry dance towards the trap. It was almost too easy. The hunter yelped as he caught his foot in the rabbit snare and tumbled to the ground. Within minutes his long arms and legs were knotted together behind his back.
The wee haggis spent a lot of time clapping each other on their backs, before they rolled him down the hill towards their fire. They stuffed all his orifices with wild herbs, before splitting his belly open and pulling out his intestines to wrap him up in. Although Haggis’ are usually herbivores, they made an exception this one time, as eating the hunter was a way of returning all their lost kin back into the clans.
