As I reach to put my key in the front door, my husband pulled it open from inside. He shouted “You’ve won, you’ve one, we’re going on the cruise.” I was taken aback by the word “we”, I had had no intentions of taking him, as he had been getting on my nerves quite a lot lately.
He explained that he received a phone call whilst I was out, and had already given the lady all our details. We were to board at midday on 30th June, everything else had been taken care of. Not everything I thought to myself. I would have to go with the flow for now.
The cruise ship was everything I could have imagined, the other passengers seemed older but were very friendly. The first week practically whizzed by with all the entertainment on board to keep us amused. We had established a routine of going up on deck after dinner each night, along with another couple, before going to the lounge for a nightcap. As my annoyance with my husband started creeping back in, I devised a plan. All week I had made sure that everybody knew he was a little deaf and kept raising my voice when I spoke, very much louder than necessary.
At dinner the following night, I mentioned, quite loudly, that he had drunk quite a lot and said how unsteady on his feet he was, and so the seed was planted. We went up on deck as usual and chatted, having deliberately left my stole in the cabin. When it was time for the other couple to go down to the lounge, I said I was quite chilly and would come in with them to pick up my stole. Saying loudly that I would be right back. I walked a little way with them so that they thought I was following. I quickly doubled back, checked that there was no one left on the deck and I push him hard until he fell overboard. After running back to my cabin for my stole, I went to look for the couple in the lounge. I located them in their usual spot and asked if my husband had joined them as there was no sign of him on the deck. I didn’t want to seem unduly worried at that point so suggested he might be at the bar buying me a drink.
After half an hour had passed and a good few nautical miles, I said I’d better check if he was in our cabin. I rushed back up to the lounge appearing breathless, shouting “He’s not there!” Whilst pandemonium broke out, I sat looking frantic on the chair, hoping my theatrical training would get me through. Both the couple and I had explained where we had last seen him and they confirmed my alibi. The captain took me to his cabin and looked after me, whilst a thorough search of the ship took place.
He was never found.
