Address to Fellow Magistrates Upon My Retirement.

Friends. Looking back on my years as a magistrate, I can offer the following insight into human nature: honesty boxes are a gateway drug to a life of petty crime. The whole concept of the honesty box is an oxymoron;  a temptation to the weak. They create the conditions for dishonesty.

In a wonderful, imaginary world, humanity  would show basic decency and charitable intentions towards fellow citizens; we could all be trusted. Magistrates would rarely be required. And, in truth, many do strive towards this ideal. But  life is full of people taking more than their fair share of sweeties out of the communal jar.

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Always Read the Small Print

‘I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but there isn’t any way out of this contract.’

Meg crumpled onto the settee and wept.

‘Thanks for taking a look, Andy, I owe you one,’ said Doug.

‘What we going to do Doug, we’ve no more money to pay them.’

‘Come on love, whenever have I let you down, something will turn up.’

‘But even if we default on the payment, that stupid clause states we are still liable.  I couldn’t bear it if they take our lovely home.’

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