Tag Archives: my

A Lesson in Life

Posted on by under 2022, Nov 2022 - The Lesson
bric-à-brac jumble sale stall

She’s at it again, using her allure to get people to do things for her. I watch jealously from my bric-à-brac jumble sale stall. I had spent the last half an hour carrying heavy bags from my car. Now, she strolls in, followed by a team of eager pleasers hauling all her boxes. I really hate her sometimes.

Angela, five foot eight and with an effervescent personality and curly blond locks. I understand what the entire male population sees in her, but what I don’t get is why she is able to bewitch the female population as well. That doesn’t include me, of course. I’m immune to her charms.

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Destiny’s child

Posted on by under 2022, Oct 2022 - The Visitor

Reluctantly I made my way to bed. I ask you, bed at 8.00 at my age, how archaic is that? My mother believed in the outdated style of nurturing, feed, bath and bed. My sister tried to reason with her, explaining that that was meant for infants, not young people of our ages. That was the last time I ever protested at having to go to bed, listen carefully and I’ll let you in on my eternal secret.

That night I drifted off to sleep quickly, a wonderful sense of peace washed over me as I realised that I was leaving my body and slowly floating, towards another dimension. Soon I approached the impressive entrance marked “visitors only”. I glided calmly through the gates and was reassured by a silent and gleaming white world full of serene souls where all communication was done by a sophisticated means of telepathy. As I navigated around my new world, I saw that the central square was where souls went to find answers from the wise and knowledgeable. Elders to our worldly problems. Eventually I was brave enough to approach them and unburden the secret of my sister Gails’ behaviour, only to be told that it was too late. She was obsessed with fire, given the chance she would set fire to anything. Matches, lighters all had to be hidden from her, which was very difficult because both my parents were regular smokers. Gail was a very sad and confused soul, resenting me. I was the youngest child and her nemesis; she was constantly accusing me of stealing our parents love and attention.

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a butterfly frolics

Posted on by under 2022, Sept 2022 - The End

THE END 

a tale foretold. ‘The crowd’s on the pitch. They think it’s all over. It is now.’

Touch, a so missing after trauma,  so they tell us, and so I must consider you know don’t you too my mind latched on to but was it ever anything else. and indeed There is something to be said that our contemporary lives invest too much into being ‘happy,, by showering ourselves with happy smiles and emojis that become addictive self smugness of, of well of loony-bin Reality Shows for a start,  making  us believe that is all there is to life. and STOP us imagining alternatives. and well is writing and engaging with it – literary fiction that is –  does this.  So, am I here writing this to resolve and maybe dissolve lies I have told myself.? Can I then ‘face up.’, create my and your better life. Give us integrity, enabling skills, perhaps like literary devices, eh Joe?

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The Art of Growing Wings

Posted on by under 2022, Sept 2022 - The End

It will be a parting gift. Something to remind him of “us.”

Clouds skid across the darkening September sky, nudged along by an insistent wind. “It’s time,” it seems to hiss as it whistles around the rooftops.

The swallows have heard it too. They gather on the telephone line overhead, their slit-throats lined up and their tails criss-crossing in different directions like scissors, ready to cut ties.

It’s a time for bursting out of the summer haze into vivid autumn colour and activity. A time for new starts and sowing seeds. I prepare the soil, loosening and enriching it.

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From the Beginning to the End

Posted on by under 2022, Sept 2022 - The End

Thursday the 21st of April, my 6th birthday. A day indelibly etched on my brain. It was the day that I received 2 tickets to go to the circus with my friend Susan.

On the morning of that momentous day I was bubbling with anticipation at what my gift would be. My curiosity was soon satisfied when I opened my birthday card and discovered the tickets.

That was the beginning of an arduous but long and exciting journey that led me all over the world.

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Swan Song

Posted on by under 2022, August 2022 - Envy
Old lady scowls with silhouette of young woman in background

It’s hard to savour every moment when everyone is fussing so much. Honestly, did half the ward of nurses really need to come? They buzz around me like polyester flies.

My daughter adjusts the deckchair, almost tipping me over in the process, asking me again and again if I’m ok.

‘The tide’s coming in, Mum, so you can’t stay here long. Are you sure you don’t want me to sit with you?’

I sigh. ‘I’m fine. You can leave me now.’

‘We’ll just be over there, ok?’

I nod, too tired to reply.

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Envy

Posted on by under 2022, August 2022 - Envy

I worked hard in school but had few friends. When my classmates were out playing, I was busy working on my school projects or revising. My only friends were the librarians who would guide me to the books needed to help me in my revision. They taught me to use the computers and how to research for my projects.

My parents supported me in my attempts to do well in school, but through no fault of their own, both being badly disabled, there was no money to finance extras. My uniform came from the schools’ seconds’ shop. Because of this I was the outsider. Sometimes I lay in bed dreaming that one day I would be able to afford the expensive shoes and matching bags that Margaret Ford, one of the most popular girls in my class, sported. Along with her highlighted hair and manicured nails, she had everything, beauty, brains and personality.

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Serendipity

Posted on by under 2022, July 2022 - Chance

We had a game where we would set up prompts and build stories together, sometimes wild, crazy stories.  ‘It could so easily have been me….’ was one opener and

complicated, fantasy travel plans was another favourite. It made us laugh, and the dafter, the better.  In fact we enjoyed doing most things together and even doing nothing together was better than doing nothing separately.

The ‘easily have been me’ one was a rich vat of story opportunities. We often returned to it.

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Chance

Posted on by under 2022, July 2022 - Chance
Girl facing three interviewers

            Yet another interview, let’s hope I get the job this time. I think this is the eighth or ninth job I’ve gone for. OK, I know I wasn’t qualified for some like the nanny’s job, but they could have given me a chance.

            Why do they always keep you waiting? Sometimes I think they do it on purpose just to make you nervous, but today I’ve taken one of my mother’s diazepam, so I’m not fazed. The other two waiting look very la-di-da but a little nervous. One keeps dashing back and forth to the loo, while the other one is twisting her hands. You’d think she was on her way to the gallows. I think they have realised that I’m the obvious choice.

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It’s Only a Little One

Posted on by under 2022, July 2022 - Chance

‘Aspen?’ Bill spat out the letter ‘p’ like it was a bitter pill. ‘What sort of name is that?’

I stroked my swollen abdomen and gazed out the window for added wistfulness. ‘Mum would have loved it.’

‘Hazel still rules our lives from beyond the grave,’ he muttered into his tea.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ I stood up, losing my balance. In an instant he was easing me back onto the sofa, my vulnerability softening him.

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Thyme

Posted on by under 2021

The quaint and characteristic muddle of smells has stayed with me since the earliest of days. I can look back down the years and remember visits to great aunt Violet (my grandmother’s sister): first as duty visits with my mother and then more eager and self-willed visits on my own. I can well recall her face and details of the tiny cottage and surrounding garden, but it is the smells stay in my memory.

Each beam and hook and cupboard handle in the kitchen held drying herbs and flowers. These were later crumbled into jars and packets and used in cooking or medicinal remedies. Herbs were kept perky in jars of water, ready to be freshly chopped into oils, alcohols or distilled into tinctures. Soaps and lotions, vinegars and essential oils filled cupboards and shelves. Sometimes Violet sold her wares to local shops, and she also had postal enquiries and word-of -mouth recommendations.

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The Hall of Ancestors

Posted on by under 2022, June 2022 - Time

Memories of the past ebb and flow around me like a fast-running stream. Here and there, I pick out snatches of melody, laughter or tears, heartache or guilt. Occasionally, small groups clump together in eddies, circling round, threatening to drag me into the whirlpool of emotion of a particular moment; a birth, a death, singing with joy until my voice is hoarse. I linger at each of these, but the need for closure presses me onward.

This is my personal Hall of Ancestors and, as I walk its length, portraits on the wall show each reincarnation; the twenty-first century social media star, the patent office clerk, the eighteenth-century Swiss craftsman. Here, a rural Italian mother garnishes a steaming pasta dish, and there a mediaeval herbalist offers a concoction of their own devising that claims to be a panacea for any illness from a sore throat to parasitic infections.

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Stop the Clocks

Posted on by under 2022, June 2022 - Time
stop the clocks. boy diving into ocean as asteroid crashes with clock foreground

My heart races against the clock. As 17:59 becomes 18:00, it looks like the word ‘Boo.’ Mum says a swear-word and I jump. My swimming lesson starts now but we haven’t even parked the car.

On the radio, the newsreader says an asteroid will narrowly miss Earth tonight. I picture myself riding it, flames shooting behind me, and diving into the pool just in time.

Mum stops the car so suddenly that I jolt forward. ‘Jump out here, Thomas!’

My bag is wedged in the space in front of my seat. I tug while another clock inside my head counts down until Mum explodes. Beside me, she inflates like a balloon. Three, two, one…

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Things aren’t what they seem

Posted on by under 2022, March 2022 - Things aren't what they seem

The Austerik Muminsim are an ancient race, who emerged from the quark aggregation taking place just millionths of a second after the big bang, so they aren’t exactly matter, but they really DO matter.

A lot.

They allowed nuclei to form, which also permitted everything else to happen, like stars and galaxies forming. So, it was a surprise when I was asked to meet them.

How do you “meet” an entity with no physical dimensions existing simultaneously in all places and times?

I got an invitation.

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Djerik and the Magic Mirror – a Child’s Fable

Posted on by under 2022, February 2022 - Wealth

Tourdor stole a secret recipe book from a brewer and set himself up as the kingdom’s best innkeeper. Without it, he could not enjoy the wealth to which he had become accustomed, so he stuck a notice on his door: “Wanted! Three stout fellows to guard my secret.”

An old man with a white beard approaches him.

“I will guard it.”

Tourdor says he wants a stronger man.

The man points a wand at a barrel and lifts it across the bar.

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Never Say Goodbye

Posted on by under 2022, January 2022 - The Promise

Do you remember when we made that promise, Dad? In the fading light of a summer’s evening, when you sat beside my bed and closed the book you’d been reading, leaning in to kiss me and wish me sweet dreams? Always that. Never goodnight. Definitely never goodbye.

You smelled of tea and biscuits. The beginnings of a beard peppered your chin, bristling against my cheek. Your beard was dark then. Not even a whisper of grey. Nothing like the creep of white that haunts your face now. Your skin in the glow of my bedside light was bright and flushed from a day’s work, and the comforting clatter of Mum washing up floated through the floorboards. I don’t remember how old I was, but I remember the book. The Tiger Who Came to Tea.

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Double Trouble

Posted on by under 2022, January 2022 - The Promise

“I’ll get you Lewis! And that’s a promise.”

With his words still ringing in my ears, I hastily packed a suitcase. I just had to get away.

A new town, a fresh start, I could only hope.

I picked up a job quickly and began to settle down.  My jangled nerves were slowly uncurling with each passing day.

It took him six weeks to find me.

I awoke one morning to find a note on the doormat. Things started to spiral out of control.

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The Curse of the Christmas Songs

Posted on by under 2021, December 2021 - Christmas

‘It’s day three hundred and sixty of the kids singing and the band playing, and I’m starting to wish it wasn’t Christmas every day,’ I said, my paper hat falling down over my eyes. ‘I’d feel rude sending my family home though.’

Sombre nods spread around the circle, everyone at the Christmas Song Support Group feeling my pain.

‘I hear you,’ said Bethan. ‘When the first partridge in a pear tree arrived, I thought, how romantic. But by day six, my neighbour with the bird phobia had called the police. It was the twelve drummers drumming that got me evicted. I didn’t have the heart to tell my true love that it was too much.’

Daniel was the longest-standing member. Every year without fail, he gave away his heart only to have it cruelly given away on Boxing Day. Despite his resolutions to give it to someone special next time, it inevitably happened again.

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Kids

Posted on by under 2021, December 2021 - Christmas

The orange-acned teenager read part of the letter to me: ‘Fit to go back to work.’

       Fit? Twelve months of depression after being passed over for the headship at Ysgol Milton Friedman. That went to a kid with a face on him like a lamb sucking on its mother’s teat. Not to the school’s deputy head, with proven management skills garnered from thirty years teaching. ‘The successful candidate has more energy,’ I was told. Meaning obvious: Phillips, you’re too old at fifty-four.

       Shortly after came melancholy and lethargy. The GP prescribed anti-depressants. She was a kid too, fresh out of doctors’ college.

       It got worse. My wife, Sandra, left. Told me my moodiness would try the patience of an angel, plus she’d met a nice, younger man. That word was like a knife in my heart. Soon after, an overdose of paracetamol. They pumped out my stomach and I’m in the bin, sectioned. Four blurred weeks.

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Midnight

Posted on by under 2021, October 2021 - The Mission

My mission had been to submit my story by the deadline.  I was failing fast.

I had to write something. My head was stuffed with a myriad of ideas, but none of them seemed to work.  I sighed as I looked at the pile of screwed up papers overflowing the waste bin.

I reread all the other submissions for what seemed like the tenth time.  What did they have that mine lacked?  Even my analytic powers seemed to have deserted me.

I tried some displacement activities to look for inspiration elsewhere.  My e-mails and You Tube displayed the same as when I had looked before. I came up with no fresh ideas for the story.

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