I’m trapped in a tiny flat with my two mortal enemies.

We were okay at first, seeing each other in small doses but now lockdown’s struck, all we can do is either sulk in our cramped bedrooms or spend every second in each other’s company. As it turns out we really don’t like each other very much. Oh, sure before we’d sometimes go to the pub or go to the cinema but by and large we were casual acquaintances, which is how it should be.

John’s a carefree kind of guy, enduring in some circumstances and pretty damn funny. Samson’s the adventurer, the walls of his bedroom are covered in photographs of him standing by the Grand Canyon and the Great Pyramids and even riding elephants.