REGRETTABLY MY FELLOW WELSH CITIZENS

‘Mum’s got pneumonia. You should come today.’

‘Right,’ Jeff said, ‘right.’ He put the phone down.

‘Pneumonia? Your sister’s a nurse, Jeff. She’s telling you something.’

‘I can’t leave here now!… What’s she telling me, Steph?’

‘Frail, old, in a care home? She’s saying get there before your mum goes.’

‘Christ! How can I…?’

He looked about him helplessly and put down the wet bucket he’d been using to bale out the shop.

/

‘Just a yellow warning, minister. The Met should’ve issued a red or amber.’

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Thérèse

In the dusk is a sea monster, bulky, black and rubbery, glistening in the remnants of the light. It is almost still, as if waiting for a prey.

            A fellow waves the crowd on board, taking the last of their money. At this the youngest of our crew, Paul, averts his eyes. It’s superstition: if he doesn’t look maybe this voyage might be uneventful.

            More ragged travellers arrive. The fellow squeezes them on, extra bucks for him and his criminal smuggling network. He doesn’t care if he’s endangering people. He gives one of those on board a GPS, saying in English, ‘north west’.

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Address to Fellow Magistrates Upon My Retirement.

Friends. Looking back on my years as a magistrate, I can offer the following insight into human nature: honesty boxes are a gateway drug to a life of petty crime. The whole concept of the honesty box is an oxymoron;  a temptation to the weak. They create the conditions for dishonesty.

In a wonderful, imaginary world, humanity  would show basic decency and charitable intentions towards fellow citizens; we could all be trusted. Magistrates would rarely be required. And, in truth, many do strive towards this ideal. But  life is full of people taking more than their fair share of sweeties out of the communal jar.

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