“Where the hell is he?” growled Mike, as Lenny’s phone pinged with a message.

“It’s ‘im, it’s Dave,” Lenny said, unlocking the screen. “Says Be there in a minute, had another commitment to deal with.”

“Another BLOODY commitment?” Mike yelled. “Who’s ‘e fink ‘e is?”

“Itchy,” moaned Two. He’d also been christened Dave, and the group didn’t have much imagination.

“Oh, bloody shut up,” Graham snapped. “Don’t you think we’ve got better things to worry about than your sodding skincare regime at the moment?”