It’s hard to let go of something when you don’t see any other choice in your life. When you love someone so much to be without them is unthinkable. There is nothing else to live for.
That is how I felt when Michael walked out on me. I didn’t know that he had been playing me, that he had other women, that all his talk had been nothing but lies.
It took months for me to find out everything. I didn’t believe any of it at first but soon I had to realise that our life together was false.
I did the usual grieving that people do when their heart is broken. I went to my bed and stayed there, didn’t eat or shower, not a good look at all. After about a month of wallowing, and having lots of ice cream and wine delivered, and rediscovering my self-respect regards showering I resurfaced.
Then he came back to me, seems he had been given a taste of his own medicine and the woman he left me for decided he wasn’t worth it. I agreed totally with her and told him to take a hike, or words to that effect. So now I am ready to pick up my life again, wounded but not broken.
I luckily have my friends and family who stood by me until I saw the light.
I am stronger, wiser and thankful that we were not married as we had planned. I never have to see him again but he has ruined my sense of trust which I am sad about as I may not know what love is but I don’t want to be a cynical person because I think that is sad.
I have to believe that there is someone out there for me. Someone I can learn to trust, who I will love and will love me in return. Someone who is honest and faithful then perhaps I can start again.
