The ochre light of the sun hugs your face through the windscreen as you smile in a way that gives the warmth of the day competition. Scenery of greens and blues and mountains and sheep fly past behind your head out the driver’s window, and it’s as though the music takes over. I hear nothing you say but I can count the lines around your mouth and the glints in your eyes. Then like that – it’s over; I can recall nothing you said or did but this image in my mind where your face convinced me magic exists in this world.
We bend and skip and contort our way through the trees, breathing in rhythm with the stream as it clears away anything but us and the woods in this moment. It makes me feel as though I’m in a book or a movie and in a moment a giant will poke his head around the corner, or a fairy will flit across my view. Instead, we wander ahead with no direction in mind – we’ll know it when we see it. And of course we do. My mind jumps forward in time and there we are, sitting on a large and ant-ridden tree branch hanging over the rippling water, completely content in each other’s company regardless of what might be crawling up our legs. That’s where this moment ends although I am sure there was far more to it that I wish I could find in my mind.
The castle is as impressive as any I’ve seen before, but you’re here this time and that morphs it into a dream. We make our way to the dungeon the guide directed us to. There is Celtic music playing through hidden speakers and as usual the music steals the scene. However, not for long; you reach out your hand and begin spinning around and dancing. You’ve never acted like this with me before and suddenly in your face I see the child you were, who you could have been, who you are under the angry, stern exterior. I try to keep up, but my shoes keep clipping and wobbling on the stone floor. I wish I could have kept up. I wish I had grabbed onto that child that soon disappeared back into his casing.
I knew I would not be going to college that day and she looks up at me with knowing eyes. As soon as mum leaves and we shut the door behind her, the four little legs set off on a race up the stairs. I can never keep up with her, so I take my time and pour a drink, grab a snack, and slowly take the climb. It is a sight I will never get used to – seeing her sat on the bed waiting for nothing but a cuddle and a snooze with me, and so I climb into bed and hold her close.
These are my most precious little memories.
