Well now, ya feeling alright hon?
I gotta say ya done give me a scare, not often that my fellas go under like that, thought I was goanna lose ya.
Now I’d best tell you what I is, I is a hog farmer, and this here is my prize-winning hog, Precious. What can I say sweet cheeks, this little lady sure is precious to me.
Ya don’t get ta be first place on the state fair for three years running without a little help. Precious’s secret weapon is her diet. Most farmers are content ta fed their hogs lotsa crap. Rotten apples from the orchard, stuff expired from the refrigerator, shit that’ll give ya a stomach-ache for twenty Sundays.
Nah, nah we here on our humble little farm, feed Precious only the finest food, freshest apples, cleanest flower and of course the best meat out there.
Oh, yer starting to understand ain’t ya? No, I don’t go feeding my favourite girl beef or pork or chicken or nothing. Precious deserves the best, and this is a what ya call it, irony that a pig makes do with man flesh
Bingo hon! Ya ain’t leaving this place alive. It’s kinda funny when ya think about it. Ya joined me here hoping for some rough and tumble and don’t get me wrong I was flattered when ya called me purty and all, it’s just now ya goanna be spending some intimate time with Precious instead.
Ya want me to slit ya throat? Honey, Precious demands her meat be as rare as rubies and I aim to please. Besides look at it this way. Life is short and precious, and hell isn’t death too?
Ya only die one time and passing away in ya sleep is boring but something slow and painful can be…well it ain’t something ya’ll forget in a hurry.
Precious here can tear flesh from bone like paper and chomp on bone as if it were butter. The cops can’t pin it on us cause there won’t be nothing left of ya once she’s done.
Honey, honey, relax, holler all ya want but nobody’s goanna hear ya. My advice is make ya peace with the Big Man cause you’ll be meeting Him soon enough, and really boy, think of this as an experience. Ya goanna see a hog munch on your feet, sure it’ll hurt like hell but goddamn it’ll be memorable.
So, sit back, relax and thank us for making yor time on God’s green earth end with a bang.
You two have fun now, cause Precious is mighty hungry. Ain’t ya mah sweet little lady.
