FADE IN:
EXT. New York Street – DAY
Two young fellers, COMANCHE and OBI make a beeline down a New York Street. Both are wiseass street hustlers, COMANCHE is half Native American, half Mexican, OBI is half black, half Italian.
OBI
Remember Syd Muir, tiny guy, bald, no neck?
COMANCHE
Yeah, I remember, always been a prick to me. What’s up with him?
OBI
Just got out of a lousy relationship; his ex was something of a harpy.
COMANCHE
Sounds about right. You hafta admit when you got the looks of Syd, it’s not as if the gals are lining up at your door.
OBI
Shit man, guy’s no Elvis, no Dean Martin. Takes what he can get, no biggie.
COMANCHE
Fair enough.
OBI
So, after a year of living together, his lady announces she’s got one in the oven. We’re talking a shotgun situation here. Syd doesn’t have enough balls to stab her cunt with a coat hanger, doesn’t have enough moxie to split. He just sticks around.
COMANCHE
Alright.
OBI
Then, the baby arrives, Syd takes one look at it and figures he’s been duped.
COMANCHE
Why is that?
OBI
The kid is half black. Bitch was fucking a negro behind his back.
COMANCHE
Yeah, so who’s Daddy? Next door neighbour? Delivery guy? What?
OBI
A goddamn college professor. Syd’s better half was enrolled at night school and this charmer from St. Louis was teaching her class, dunno if the guy’s any good as a teacher but he’s great at seducing his students.
COMANCHE
I imagine the guy’s got tenure and balls of brass.
OBI
Oh yeah. And get this, Syd’s woman is just one of the many bitches, this cat is nailing, something like thirteen last time I checked. So, one girl gets talking, another girl gets talking, soon everybody’s talking, and this St. Louis motherfucker quits before they fire his ass. In regard to the guys raising kids which ain’t theirs’, he says shit like “It’s love not blood that makes a great dad.”
COMANCHE
Christ, if that was coming from a guy who was adopted, or a stepdad or hell some guy who failed a paternity test, I mean, alright, but coming from an asshole nailing other dudes’ ladies? I’d call that the crap coming of a brood parasite.
OBI
Brood Parasite?
COMANCHE
Cuckoo birds. Laying their eggs in another bird’s nest you know.
OBI
Right, right.
COMANCHE
So, what did Syd do?
OBI
Nothing. We were all thinking he’d go and kick the guy’s ass. Hell, I’d have gladly held the motherfucker down but nah. Syd just throws his girl out the front door and looks so fucking relieved.
COMANCHE
He never wanted a kid in the first place?
OBI
Guess he felt guilty about abandoning that bitch. Still, he got himself a vasectomy soon afterwards.
FADE OUT
