Returning to office camaraderie was a major life event: arguably third after marriage and buying your first property? Edwin savoured the anticipation. Jumping the steps 2 at a time, he reached the colonnaded entrance of Mean Streets Communications; a.k.a Moan Streets Miscommunications by fellow trainee journalists.
That first regrouping was a creative recoil against 18 months of enforced house arrest and Zoom meetings. Piotr, old- school consulting editor, was in the “control” chair directing the pent-up tsunami of creativity. Fountain pen in hand, he wrote each suggested scoop-in-the-making on a physical clipboard. Retro-style reporting values he called it. Meanwhile the trainees tapped electronic devices desperate not to miss the opportunity of reporting tomorrow’s leader.
Multi-tasking had never featured large on Edwin’s radar. It took 100% concentration to master the “functions” of his new folding tablet. Having finally found, then applied, the numbered list function he was jolted back into the room by Piotr’s voice
“Last, Number 5, Edwin!
Remember the real story is what happens afterwards. Leave the readers wanting more. Copy in 9 pm tomorrow. Now go! Interview! ”
Edwinscrolled down.
- Revealed, The Prince’s Shocking Revelation
- Veteran, 98, marries 17 year old pole-dancer
- Tragic boat accident sees air ambulance scrambled
- Tarantula’s best friend is …. Snoopsy the hamster
- Meadows Academy reaches finals of Young Scientist of the Year
Shit. Missed number1. A Palace of Learning instead. Still….. a chosen one!
***
The cavernous Science Lab boomed and clattered with the interview preparations. Sound and Lighting were unpacking: the expectant finalists being combed and powdered for the camera. The lab-table resembled that of a cookery room. Edwin returned mentally to a childhood watching a TV game-show in black-and-white, where contestants memorise items on a conveyor belt; the difference,- this contemporary full-colour version a progression of grocery and everyday household items, all purportedly, cures for warts:- fruits,- bananas, a pineapple, oranges, lemons; garlic, potatoes, dandelion, milkweed, basil; labelled glass bottles,- apple cider vinegar, castor and tea tree oil, honey; and miscellaneous sundries,-an aloe vera plant, aspirin, baking soda, clear nail polish, silver duct tape, pumice stone and emery boards. Finally a sheet of A4 paper titled Hypnotherapy Practices for Wart Eradication.
The choice of Samantha as presenter was judicious. Her seductive regional tones had already proved effective in allaying parental concerns about the experiments to be executed on their wart-afflicted offspring.
“The Hypnotherapy Risk Assessment undertaken by the PTA indicated an unreasonable degree of risk that precluded inclusion. Also using a dry toad to rub against the affected area would contravene RSPCA guidelines”
All agreed the recording felt longer than two hours.
“To summarise, we were unable to conclusively determine whether any home remedies were effective or whether the warts disappeared spontaneously and naturally.”
***
Piotr published the story in the Local Newsletter category,- last item.
“You lead if they win.”
Edwin had moved on. Unlikely to be an “After Warts” afterwards story.
