These two had been at school together and never roamed far beyond the town. They were content and deeply appreciated the familiarity and depth of one another’s friendship. It was unusual, therefore, to watch them fizzing like a herd of ants imitating a headless chicken. I’m no eavesdropper but I couldn’t help overhearing…
‘You mean you nicked it?’
‘I did, yeah. You have a problem with that?’
‘Well, as a matter of fact, yes, I do have several problems with that. And the first is that you forgot to tell me about it.’
‘ Well, sorry about that, mate, but it’s something that’s been bothering me for a while. 30 years at least. It’s an old score I had to settle. You should be glad I still care about honour and dignity.’
‘Go on then. How did you do it?’
‘I just kind of sidled up and unscrewed it. I was in the school anyway, doing a bit of a paint job. There it was, the very plaque that should have had our team’s names on it, but instead it had those hard-nosed buggers from Leyland comp proclaimed winners. What a travesty. You know it ruined the rest of our time at that school having to look at it every day.’
‘Well, yeah, you’re not wrong. It was a great miscarriage of justice. But wasn’t there a big gap where you unscrewed the plate? Won’t anyone notice to hole in the roll of honour?’
‘That’s the whole point. I want people to notice. I want a rematch, and an acknowledgement that we won fair and square and that the ref was biased.’
‘Better keep schtum and see what happens. What have you done with the plate then?’
‘Ah, you know what they say, “if I told you that, I’d have to kill you’’. ‘
‘ So you’ve started to keep secrets from your best mate now? You’re really starting to go low these days’
‘Hardly a secret. I’ve hidden it in plain sight. That’s your clue. ’
At that point the pub door burst open and three very out of condition former rugby players puffed and blustered their way through the thin crowd and addressed the friends’ table.
‘We happen to believe that one of you has hacked the private WhatsApp group of ex- Leylanders. ’
A phone was proffered showing a photo of the now-contentious plaque with the challenging message ‘you all know this result was a mis-call. We demand the opportunity to set the record straight’. It was provocative stuff. And the message seemed to have touched a very raw nerve.
Rising as one, our friends squared up to the Leylanders.
‘Have you got a time in mind for the rematch?’
‘’Weekends are best for me if you don’t mind.’
The Leylanders hurled themselves away and offered further provocation to the pub door.
Sorry I can’t tell you more, but we eavesdroppers are often left to wonder what happens next. Occupational hazard.
