Category Archives: 2023

That Wretched Mr. Linklater

Posted on by under 2023, Nov 2023 - Fireworks

The locals of East Hardwick made a habit of not burning a certain Catholic terrorist come the fifth of November as expected, but instead set alight whomever they disliked.

Mrs. Monks burnt a copy of her cheating husband, Charlie Lanker burnt a dummy modelled after his schoolteacher, who in turn set alight a many headed hydrae, bearing the faces of her worst students.

On this Guy Fawks night, Kevin Warick had built, a perfect likeness of the dreadful Mr. Samuel Linklater, down to that self-impressed, almost snarling smile.

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Carol

Posted on by under 2023, November 2023 - Fireworks

Watkins, a whole platoon in a single body, clumsily barged open the door. The committee room became a lot more crowded with his entrance. ‘They can’t deliver today,’ he said.

            Davies, his face communion wafer white, said, ‘Why not?’

            ‘Strike at the depot.’

            ‘For the best,’ said Jones.

            ‘This is going to be a success!’ Davies insisted.

            ‘It’s meant to be a do to celebrate Phil’s passing, for god’s sake.’ Jones sat up aggressively in his chair. ‘Why do we need bloody fireworks?’

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WATCHING THE FIREWORKS

Posted on by under 2023, November 2023 - Fireworks

While the world waited for Armageddon with tightly clenched fists, tear-stained faces, and racing thoughts, Sir Michael Peckham waited for morning.

He glanced at the silent smart-slab sitting insouciantly on his bedside table. It said “02:14 – 5 Nov” on its face, but it was the things it wasn’t saying he was most interested in. He wanted it to ring and not to. A conflict of such breadth it seemed analogous to the sabre rattling provided nightly on the talking head shows. The hawks and the doves making cases for greater or lesser annihilation.

For two weeks, the world stood on a precipice, while his world sank into the abyss.

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The End of Doubt?

Posted on by under 2023, October 2023 - The Curse

As a hybrid Goggapod /Cockaigian, Chief Prommy was trapped in a dual awareness. The cull wasn’t working as expected. The Goggapods, who regarded themselves as The Legitimate Inheritors, were as innovative…. and devious…. as  ever,- hiding in the tunnels of Plurian’s moons: shape-shifting so expertly that even with A.I. advance diagnostics they were routinely identified as unalloyed Cockaigians: using non-galactically recognised W.M.D: in short evading all efforts of obliteration. The new order was unambiguous, one word, “Annihilate.”

Comply or Defy,-.that was the dilemma. The sensation of Goggapods crawling over the proximal tendril’s communication device was a by-now familiar precursor to the resultant odour of a singeing short circuit. Of course the Goggapods were not actually crawling, but to The Cockaigne Higher-ups, and in a half-hidden corner of Prommy’s own consciousness, it confirmed the presence of doubt, possibly treason. 

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The seven blood hounds

Posted on by under 2023, October 2023 - The Curse

I met Dai on Fabian Way

He had a flask, tea he’d say

Quick he moved, his purpose grim

Did not stop, they were after him

Who they were, I could not see.

And when I did, they were after me.

Across the bridge, up Castle Way

Lord above, too late to pray.

Out in front, a shadow rode.

On a bike, with a cursed load.

Saint Andere, but nor for hire.

A dreadful stare, and spat hell fire.

Down the hill, towards the sea.

Smelt their breath, near Anna Quay.

I will no lie, no perjury

There at last, Marina Surgery.

The wait was long, that much was true.

We were many, the doctors few.

Dr Faustus and Dr Soul

Annual check-ups were never dull.

Apologies to Shelley!

OUR OWN CLIMBS

Posted on by under 2023, October 2023 - The Curse

How stupid do you have to be to fall down a well? Pretty stupid, I’m sure. 

When I was eleven I did the very same thing when collecting water with my brother. Even after my mother, peeling and chopping a pile of potatoes over the sink, apron soaked with water and littered with small potato skins, warned us. 

“Careful round that well,” she declared, eyes stuck to the potatoes. “You remember what happened with Dorothy’s poor wee lass.” 

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God save us

Posted on by under 2023, October 2023 - The Curse

The storm clouds are gathered just to starboard, forcing us further and further west. The sun, lurking around the horizon and casting golden and amber hues, hasn’t set in what feels like eleven hundred days, although it’s tough to tell. We’ve given up counting, after the crude marks we’d scratched into the deck mysteriously vanished.

Time hasn’t frozen, so much as slowed to a crawl. The fluttering and rustling of the sails proves there’s still a tailwind; the creaks and groans of wood as waves lap around us, and the swells of the waves we ride, are enough to evidence that. Our crew, fractious at the best of times, had initially turned on each other, tensions increasing until it spilled to violence. Men were thrown overboard, beaten, and blades drawn. It had only stopped after a voice had cut across the melee, singing; pure, clean, and melodious.

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What goes around, keeps on…

Posted on by under 2023, October 2023 - The Curse

What a great place for a mini break Madrid is, especially the wonderful galleries. I went with a group of friends and we spent hours in the Prado. One thing that continues to bother us is the painting of Sisyphus. We talk about it a lot. I now realise it has bothered people far and wide across time and place. Why, in Greek mythology, did Hades condemn Sisyphus to roll a ridiculously heavy rock up a steep hill, only to have it roll back down and for the process to begin again – for eternity: a curse of mind numbing, excruciating boredom, to say nothing of huge physical effort?

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Billy and the curse

Posted on by under 2023, October 2023 - The Curse
Granny Herbs House

As the bell rang young Billy Thomas barged his way out. Racing off he headed into the woods above the school Megan’s words echoing in his head: ”I’m sorry Billy we can’t be friends anymore.”

She had  just walked away from him.

Gasping for breath he threw himself onto the floor. What had he done? He and Megan had been like brother and sister. They had played together for as long as Billy could remember.

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Open Chakras: Second Class Delivery

Posted on by under 2023, October 2023 - The Curse

The postmistress had a bad reputation and specialised in being irritable with everybody. She was perhaps in her fifties, but almost of a geological age. You were put in mind of a slab of granite behind the serving hatch in the corner of the mini-supermarket. Her face was stony, her resentment hard.

            ‘NEXT!’ she barked from behind her counter. ‘First or second? Put it on the scales. ON them, not under them. Where’s it going? WHAT? Gib-raltar?’ She pronounced the word as though it were the most awful place on the planet. Then she forked the parcel off the scales with a plump paw, eyeing her customer in the manner of a prison guard with a felon.

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My curse is …

Posted on by under 2023, October 2023 - The Curse

“I don’t fear death,” said Polypherous, “I fear not being able to say something original about it.”

As he sauntered across the freshly blackened road, its newly laid tar still odorous, to Quinit’s bakery on the corner of Beach Street, where the paving stones were still reddened by the blood of martyrs, and overflowing flowers in iron baskets bedecking the sills of tiny apartments filled with shouting boat-wives, hung like curtains, affording cool in the midday heat, he turned to Archegoron walking alongside, and asked him, “Do you fear death, Arch?”

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Fulfilling the terms of the Curse

Posted on by under 2023, October 2023 - The Curse

Carmichael’s curse came true.

She proclaimed in her base voice that Angus, Sean, and Ian would never see their twenty first birthdays.

“You’re all going to die,” she cackled.

And sure enough, they did.

Angus was the first to go, dropping dead in Spain, whilst partying with his college chums, Sean meanwhile died during his missionary work in China. Both croaked at the stroke of midnight on the eve of their birthdays.

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Through the seashell

Posted on by under 2023, Sept 2023 - Music

That night after my shift at the cafe I had dragged a couple of friends onto the floor to lay with me around the band members above. They played some new songs at rehearsal whilst I got the others to close their eyes and place their hands and feet firmly on the floor.

And a one, and a two, and a…

Waves crashed before us, and before we knew it, we had been swept up in a rhythmic sea raised up by the band. The bass was deep and slow but present and reminiscent of a lonesome whale in the dark depths of the sea. It danced around with the sound of the cymbals through my fingertips, and my feet were soon in shock from the electric eel that was buzzing and weaving in between strings of the lead guitar.

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The Krill Bay Mysteries: chapter 1.

Posted on by under 2023, Sept 2023 - Music

The Krill Bay Mysteries: chapter 1.

Brian knew a good deal about Eric’s life story from the first research interview. What he didn’t know was that Eric’s life (but definitely not his story) was going to reach its final destination in one hour and thirty minutes. Nor did Brian know that Eric’s account of his past in the next forty-five minutes would contain (if anyone cared to listen and adequately interpret) the answer to why he died. This, the second interview, began at 2:30 pm Eastern Time in a small room in Krill Bay’s large central library.

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Well, that’s one answer, I guess

Posted on by under 2023, Sept 2023 - Music

Steve sat back with a hearty sigh.

“I,” he said, “don’t have an answer. Don’t have any inspiration either. The series is finished. This was a guaranteed BAFTA winner; the camerawork’s exquisite, for once the animals mostly behaved, the narration… well, I don’t need to add anything there, the man’s a legend. There’s just that one little problem, and I…”

“I know,” Jennifer interrupted. “This isn’t a disaster quite yet, but it’s close. So, what are you going to do? I mean, we can’t have titles with no music, let alone that footage… which you’re right, is beautiful, and kudos to the team for it… but you’ve got some budget left, yeah?”

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Ear Worms

Posted on by under 2023, Sept 2023 - Music

A thin ribbon of green viscosity slithers under a flautist’s door. It slides along walls and meets other slender ribbons – deep, glistening chestnut from the folk club, vivid scarlet from a classical concert in the town hall and vibrant, earthy umber from the mellow notes of Miles on a stereo. Together they dance solemnly, rising up, coiled together in a strange braid of colour and light, and then part to pursue their solitary tasks. They are creatures of great beauty and ingenuity.

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Go Little Queenie

Posted on by under 2023, Sept 2023 - Music

The oppressive heat gave a dreamlike feel to the morning. The purple-grey clouds on the horizon seemed slumbering islands, the motionless sea a broad pane of glass, the people on the beach sleepwalkers.

            Half hidden in a rocky cove at the end of the bay, a man of about sixty was digging a hole in the wet sand with a small spade. Progress was slow, the incoming tide hesitant but sufficient to drip into his work. He retreated inside a narrow cave, muttering, ‘Should’ve come earlier.’

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