It seems that many of us like, or even crave, attention. Why else would we see grown people on TV offering themselves for mass scrutiny through the eating of assorted insects, or people working their socks off to receive publicly bestowed awards? This is to say nothing of little children who dance and run and play instruments, with the incentive of gaining praise and honour, and sometimes even a certificate or medal or tube of Smarties.
Anastasia (not her real name) was not immune from this human trait but, like other shy and shrinking violets, she needed to think carefully about how to achieve both fame and anonymity. It was an interesting problem.
Although quiet and retiring, Anastasia (n.h.r.n.) was a lover of gossip. She sourced this principally through eavesdropping in bus queues and cafes and through observation of the comings and goings in her neighborhood. In this she was greatly assisted by her appearance-that of a rather dowdy, middle aged woman with greying hair and heavily framed spectacles to complement heavily shod feet. In her heart though, she was Ginger Rogers in silky dresses and spiky heels.
Her attention seeking method of choice lay in the unlikely outlet of graffiti. Unlike Banksy, Anastasia had no great artistic gift. She did, however have some very fine and choice snippets of gossip and these she deployed effectively. Needing to find a way of signing her work she managed to create, from Perspex, a template of a female figure (not unlike Ginger, as it happens) through which she could spray paint onto walls, bus shelters and similar public surfaces.
She sifted the gossip for its shock value. ‘Where does your vicar sneak out to on Thursdays when his wife is in Tesco?’ Sprayed on a church wall, this was controversial, particularly when accompanied by the Ginger logo. ‘Did you know Deirdre Bancroft shoplifts?’ – suitable for a low billboard next to a department store. Ginger watched over this too. There were many such tidbits dotted around the small town centre, and these rapidly became a subject for comment.
On her nearest bus stop ‘did you know George Riley carries his whiskey in a brown bag and drinks it on the bus?’ Ginger smirked over this, as the upright Riley sought to deny the allegation. Someone in the queue was heard (by Anastasia and others) to remark reprovingly, ‘that woman is a one-person crime wave’.
So they knew it was a woman, presumably through Ginger’s omnipresence at crime scenes. This emboldened Anastasia to add to her template a waving hand as she went about her work. Ginger was taunting the subjects of revelation. This thrilling occupation continued until Anastasia hit a wall. Spray paint sales were to be regulated to discourage graffiti. Unable to account for a large use of such items, she was obliged to purchase fresh supplies in other towns. In retribution for this inconvenience, Ginger was now seen with a very rude gesture in the hand that wasn’t waving.
